When Roommates Go Wrong

By KAYLA JACKSON

From moldy carpets to mysterious night time visitors, high school and college students from around the country have experienced the highs- and super low lows- of roommate life. 

Living with a roommate is seen as a rite of passage for every young adult, whether it's in a summer program, boarding school or at college. For some, this common experience among young adults can quickly turn into students’ biggest nightmare. Below are some examples of roommates gone wrong.

“It started with the laundry…”

Austin Kenyon, a one year student at Avon Old Farms School For Boys, shared his experience with his first roommate he had been randomly assigned to live with during his first semester. 

“By the second week, I couldn’t see the carpet anymore. He never learned to do laundry so it never got done, and the smell? Let’s just say I spent a lot of time in the common areas.” 

“Her boyfriend was there more than her.”

Washingtonville High School Alumni, Alyssa Marin, had a somewhat unique experience as a freshman at the University of Buffalo. She was assigned to a quad with two complete strangers and a former classmate of hers.

“In the beginning, we all got along great, and we even decided to live all together for two more years after that. Then [my roommate] got a boyfriend and he would show up to the apartment, uninvited and unannounced when she wasn’t even there. Needless to say, she will not be living with me next year.”

“He was never there!”

A teacher at WHS heard a student say they had found their roommate for college and decided to share his rocky experience with his first roommate. 

“He lived five minutes away from the school so, instead of coming to the dorm, he would just walk home after class. I never got why he would pay for housing when he didn’t even stay there. Whenever he would come, he would tear up the room and then leave like nothing. I got so fed up with doing all the chores that I complained to an R.A. and got a single for the rest of college, which is good “cause I don’t like people.”

The reason behind these roommate horror stories could be because of many things. Experts, like Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, say that differences in personality, cultural practices and a lack of communication between people are some of the most common causes of roommate issues. Dr. Lombardo specializes in helping people “optimize their change management” including helping people navigate the unknown landscape of living with someone new for the first time. 

Don’t be frightened by the stories told today because there are obviously ways to help prepare and thrive when living with roommates. Set boundaries early, including what chores will be done by who and how often other people can come to your shared space. Avoid being passive aggressive if there is an issue. 

Kenyon shared “that being passive-aggressive made it worse, so I just talked to him and we ended up agreeing to room with new people next semester.” Finally, find a place to go alone whether it be going to a study spot like the library or investing in noise cancelling headphones like Alyssa who claimed that, “noise cancelling headphones saved my sanity.”

Whether you're in a dorm, a summer program or an apartment, sharing a space with someone else is never going to be easy. With a little bit of patience- and maybe some switching of roommates- it doesn't have to be a horror story.